Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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I like school Said no one ever.

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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WNBA

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Who is the fattest mexican on the earth? Not Osama because he's dead...and he wasn't mexican..

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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