Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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