knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's white and horny? a unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

No antijoke here.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops