A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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wwwwwhhhurjfjfiudkdhdhkrjfhfjhptghxusudgfhfdhydsyartsdyufhftsysduifogfiiffiydyycufkdytgysyseyydyyduudduydfefikdkeejdicttsysieoowowugagshxjkcjdjevwgyeixodlbbsgwdfehidigofojrehnfkcocoeppwiwufvvdjxifooejehedicisgeneifofjrjhehdhxirjvhejfjhrbrhjfbducjebkwpqosbhdhsvddhehueuwowpqpfugtbcihebdhdjgeyqiichhesweysyhy vhhhhhshdjfjhehehehehehuijrhfeds???????????????????????????????)GHJDJDJFKHRHDJDIEHDJKCHEEJFcyfjfjudffyewdjhsafvd

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Roses are flowers.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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