- Anti Joke

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.