YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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