Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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kkkk

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops