Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops