Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops