Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

Pickle

What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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