I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I used to know what alzheimers was

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tall asians

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i dont fisish anythi

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops