Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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