- Anti Joke

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: Leaving the cinema Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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