What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

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girls basketball

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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What happens after you go to school? (you tell me, i'm only in 6th grade)

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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