An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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the sky is green no it is not

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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