Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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Beka has AIDS

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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