how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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feminism

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Hey

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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Your adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops