Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Tony Romo

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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