What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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my egg roll

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Death by kayak

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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