My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops