Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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