what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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What did Shaq do when he first met Rondo? Play Basketball

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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