Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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