Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

a black man pays his child support

how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

so today i took a poop. hehe

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

What Do call a dog with an e A doge

how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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