What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

thumb_up thumb_down -13

DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why is cancer a big thing because its bad

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

can you pass the soap?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops