How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

A group of black people are arrested for murder, what do you need? A better prison.

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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