how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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