Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Me. Leave.

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How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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