What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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