whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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Chlamydia

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Guess what What

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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