nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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69

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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why was the black man forced to sit at the back of the bus ? it was a busy day.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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