what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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