A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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brittney griner

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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