Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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