What do you call an amazing person Good

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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