roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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haha

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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