Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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