What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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You wanna see something really scary?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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autistic kids rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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