Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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run farther?

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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Jordan is pregant

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops