WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops