Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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