Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats long and black on a black guy slavery

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops