What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist -Tag

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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flavin's head

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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