knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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flavin's head

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops