I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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I asked her where you were.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Rush Limbaugh

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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