A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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Obama lin Baden.

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Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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noah is a scrub jungle

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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