If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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the economy.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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