what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

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Psychics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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