Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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