Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

thumb_up thumb_down +16

hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops