-Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? -No. -Well niether has he.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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Your mom

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It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

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What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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