Why can't february march Because april may

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Robert Mugabe.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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