a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops